thinking of you~

from the day i choose this career, i know it's not easier...
but i really tired at here...
really hope that can have a good rest.

recently heard that my friend's family member was pass away.
i sad for it,
and make me reflect back a lot of things.
i was thinking back him, and start complaining...
why he leave me when i needed him the most?
why others can have somebody waiting them finish school but i need to go back alone?
why others can just shopping and buy what they want but i can't?
why the love that he given me was so little?
why i need to be so strong when i actually not?
why i need to be so independent until not depends on others?
i know it has no answer for it...

sad when she said that he told her we are not missing him.
but actually i can wet my whole pillow when i thinking of you.
7 years...
passed it with lonely,
and no body actually understand me like you...
missing you like mad,
especially when i need your support,
but what it return for me just nothing...

but i still believe that
you are always be with me, always...