today my uncel take me for lunch at Jaya One.
so happy with that,
coz feel so touch and warm,
make me feel that i'm not alone at here. (haha...)

tomorrow need to present my essay,
I have a dream.
yah, i have a dream since i was young.
Is : after school, i wish to have someone waitng me and take me go back home.
stupid dream right?
but for me is not.
coz start from kindergraten until now,
there is no body waiting for me to take me go back home.
i don't like to go back home alone.
so lonely... but i use to it adi...
coz i know that,
my dream will never come true.

sport day

walau, sport day finish adi!!!!

so happy!!!

our cheerleading get 3rd place in college.

most of us was the first time took part in cheerleading,

but we can won the 3rd palce back!!

today jo help me to tie up my hair,

she said :"OMG, so pretty!"

is it? i feel ok and more confident when i dance.

thanks you oh~~ my dear friend.

but i feel so sorry to all my cheerleadig friend,

coz yesterdat night i told them that actually we were the overall champion,

so if we do well in our cheerleading today,

we will be the overall champion.

they were so happy, and all of them get back their energy and confident!

coz yesterday night we were faces a lot of problem,

all feel so down,

so i wish to cheer them up!

BUT I WAS WRONG,

coz we were not the overall champion.

i get wrong message,

and told wrong message to my friend.

most of them said can't believe that we can get 3rd!

and we get 3rd in overall!

they all said is ok and happy..

but i still feel so sorry...

SO SORRY MY FRIENDS

yah, get FIRST in chees!

i don't know that will get a trophy,

so happy with that!

Lay Choon, Cai Li, Me and Yee Chin, 0130am (28/5/09) at pentry finish our job!
3rd place in cheerleading!! can you all see Miss Liew?

Me and Angel

Jing Jing, Angel, me and Sook Siean

walau, long time din write adi...
coz busy on my work mah...

ya lah, take part in cheer leading...

pay RM80 for my baju and skirt... (sad)

some more need to practise everyday... (haiz...)

此一次，下不为例.

yah, finish exam... marks still ok lah, no so bad (happy!!)

but then assignment again and again... like non-stop one...

senior said that we all lucky adi,

coz after sem 2, the assignment will like mountain...

so now,

study+assignment+cheer leading+on block= my 2 sem

haiz... kesihan betul..

then last sunday went out with jocelyn to MV..

to watch Angel and Demon!!!

my god, damn nice lah the movie.

plus one GELATO ice-cream!!

however, we were took wrong KTM lah...

suppose to mid valley one, but then don't know how went to angkasapuri adi...

feel like crying on that movement,

but then since jo more panic than me,

so what to do?

just act cool cool and nothing...

but inside my heart was crying on that time... haha...

very hope that sport day can faster come...

then no need to practise cheer loh....

and can spend more time on my study also~~~

exam was finish.... (yah!!)
but then need to spend time on cheerleading practise.
can't believe.. (not man at all ^^)
coz need to dance very cute one.
whatever lah, just practise and make it perfect...

yah, talking back with her already..
but i know it was different with last time...
i can feel it, but i'm not sensitive.
coz something happen between us, can't back to before adi... (sad..)
but i still ok with it, coz i believe mah...

ai yah, don't know how is my test two resilt leh?
really "geng jiong" for it lah...

believe

walau ye... can't believe that A&P and Micro exam finish adi...
tomorrow somemore got P&P and Phrmaco...
and yet i still on9-ing... lol
no choice, brain so stuck... cannot go in anymore...
coz thinking a lot of things...
can't concentrate ("excuse!!" my right brain said..)
so what i need to do? ("call your good friend!" my left brain said...)
so i call her, and again, she make me cry.
every time when i call her sure i will cry one.. don't know y...
yah.. what she told me was right, maybe i'm not that bad...
"my dear, this call social life... u can't believe all, coz u don't know who u can believe..."
yah... coz last time get betray by my best friend...
but i choose to believe, coz angel said was right.
i know one fine day, they will know that, actually i'm not that bad...
i'm just choose to be silence... coz i'm a SOLO...
yah... i'm use to be alone, coz i'm introvert.
when i know them, i know i'm not anymore...
but when the relationship start to have some crack, it will hard to get well...
but i choose to believe, i know it will get well soon...
i believe, because i trust you, my dear friend.

多余？

是多余的吗？

总是觉得，插不进去了...

我并不想这样...

生病了，不舒服，喉咙疼得难以出声；

不想见医生，只因明天又考试，怕吃了药以后影响考试...

我并不喜欢这样，我从来都不是一个人的；

为什么现在的我，只剩下影子在陪我？

我真的不知道该怎样做；

做对的也是错，不做也是错...

到底哪里才是属于我的地方？

是太敏感了吗？

也许吧...

不想失去，所以想补救；

但因为冲动，反效果...

有谁，可以拉我走出孤单？

"messy seven eight dirty"

am i sensitive or what? don't know...
just feel that, she treat me the other way already...
is it because she realize or think that I'm a bad person?
angel said don't think so much, because she still like before, never change.
but my six sense told me that, is not like that already...
i know that something had happen between us, make us cannot like before...
but no matter how it change, she will be my friend...
coz, together friend we are, forever friend will be...

exam coming soon... but my brain cannot function at all...
i myself also don't know why, maybe too much things happen, and so suddenly...
every exam time will make me think back about him...
what he is doing now?
study maybe, coz his exam coming soon also...
feel like want to sms him, but i know that he will never return...
maybe he know that i have feeling on him, that beyond than friendship, so he start to flee me?
or, I'm not important to him any more? (coz last time we are very good good friend!)
no answer...
headache lah, some more sick already...
haiz.... how to attend my exam with a condition like this? :(

复杂的心

我并不知道，原来真心的付出，会换来对方的怀疑...
事情的经过是这样...
来到这里读书我才明白到什么叫做朋友。在这里我认识了两个超好的朋友，jocelyn and angel。Jocelyn 让我明白了，原来我是一个怎样的人。她让我知道，原来一直以来，我是在隐藏着我自己。她让我了解了，其实不用在意别人怎样对待你，只要你对得起自己，就够了。
Angel让我明白，原来我对朋友有很多负面的影响，只因我的想法很极端，很负面，很直接，很不留余地给别人。
而不幸的是，原来我的想法影响了我的好朋友。她原本是一个很-ve的人了，但因为认识了我，让她的想法更负面了。直到昨天angel告诉我才知道，原来我是这样坏。
也对，因为我对每一个人都存有戒心，因为我不会很直接的告诉你我是一个怎样的人，只因我被朋友出卖过。那种感觉并不好受，因此我变成了这样。也因为以前有个朋友说过我，我很依赖，所以现在的我不喜欢麻烦别人。
“你想跟别人说你很坚强，但其实你不是。你想跟别人说你放下了，但其实你没有。你没有让朋友知道你的底线，所以每次我们踏到了你的地雷我们不知道，让我们有了一种感觉的就是你小气。”Angel说。
我真的想不到，当我以为跟她很要好的时候，却是影响她想法的坏人。
我也想不到她会对我说她不会跟我谈心事，因为我对每个人都有戒心。
我只想说，对她们两个，我是没有怀疑。因为她们让我明白了什么叫朋友，什么叫赴汤蹈火的朋友。
i just want to say, i'm so sorry, coz i really don't know that my thinking will affect you. Jocelyn and Angel, thanks both of you so so so much... thanks to let me know more about myself.