你和他

六天的假期，过了。
跟家人相距，参加堂姐婚礼，与朋友喝茶聊天，还有机会见到你和他。

为了家人，推完所有与朋友相聚的机会，
跟家人有了一个美好的圣诞，
还有很多顿丰富的晚餐。

哥哥回去读书后，
很庆幸的与你相见；
得知你的近况，聊聊朋友之间的是非；
还有机会与你独处。
很傻的想法我知道，但如果控制的到，又何必让自己辛苦？
也不知该如何接，只因，
你，已有了她。
是意外还是人为的让我知道，不清楚。
就是知道，你，已有了另一个她。
一个让你改变，让你摊开心门的她...
原来不管我多努力，不管我曾经做过什么，
还是不如一个她。
我明白这些事并不能做比较，自己也不是不甘心，
只是，真的连一次机会都没有吗？

同样的一天也遇见了他；我很好，他说。
是上天的玩弄吗？
同一天，倘我遇见你和他。
让自己也弄不清楚，到底心里该是谁。
因为与他的相遇，更让自己久久不能自我。
现在彻彻底底的明白了，当时的他，是什么感受。
我想唯一不一样的是，他比我更能释怀。
如果全世界都消失，没有任何人的批评与解释，
我想他还会是最疼我的那个。
好坏的我，就因为现实，我的自私，
竟然计较，默默然的比较。
让他，失望一次又一次。
同样的，我可以接受你一切的一切，
可以听你一个又一个的故事，
愿意为了你做一切的一切，
但到头来，是什么？

有个念头，不想再回去。
不想回去一个有你有他的地方。
只因我不想再让他伤心，也不想再让自己失望；
不想再让自己有些什么不可能发生的幻想或是假想。
有个朋友说，
如果最美好的回忆已留在心中，
那么再好的选择也只会视而不见。
我想，是时候不要再让自己那么执著了吧？

holiday feeling~

CVS, Cardio-Vascular System,
the subject that i like the most!!!
tomorrow will have an exam on this subject,
and yet, i'm still online-ing~~ hah~

yesterday was so happy...
i'm so lucky that can get my leave during Christmas.
some of my group girls can't get what they request,
but i REALLY REALLY REALLY thank God that, i can get.
coz, i really need to go back,
really need a good REST~
almost 2 month i never back to menglembu,
so miss there~
miss my mama; miss my family; miss my friends; and him~

the other days when i study that time,
i was share some my childhood life time with them.
it make me think back a lot,
reflect back that, how was my life last time~
but then what ever is it, it was pass.
for now what i know is only
i have a lovely mama,
a brother that always SAYANG and support me a lot,
and a handsome JJ~

10 days ago, my college cafeteria was close~
that time only know that,
how important is rice for me.
haiz... that time really difficult to pass
coz i need to solve it out by myself~
those have family here can bring food for them~
those have boyfriend here can bring them out for lunch or dinner~
those have nothing like me,
have maggie mee, indo mee, mee sedap and whatever mee teman us~ haha..

miss my brother, loozen lah...
{weii... if you read this please don't lough,
coz it true, okay?}
coz he really SAYANG me a lot,
although he has a girl friend adi~
every year he will buy me birthday present;
every time come back form Singapore will bring me some present;
when i'm back will bring me out to eat whatever i like;
and a lot~
last time when i still study in school,
when ever i get bully,
he will come and support me;
what ever subject that i don't know,
he will teach me until i knot my head said i understand;
what ever i like to eat,
he will always remember and buy for me~
but now? haiz~~
all this i need to solve it by myself~

I WANT TO GO BACK lah~~

Try To Remember~

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow;
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow;
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember, then follow.
Try to remember when life was so tender,
That no one wept except the willow;
Try to remember when life was so tender,
That dreams were kept beside your pillow;
Try to remember when life was so tender,
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember, then follow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow;
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow;
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
The fire of September that makes us mellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember, then follow.

nice song~
i love this song, coz in contain a lot of memories that they gave me.
no matter September, or December,
no matter happy or sad,
it will always keep deep insede my heart~