i don't know why i will feel so angry after i read his status
"Sandy Wan Ka Ying, where are you now? i miss you..."
"use 4 years ti love someone,
can use back 4 years to forget her?"
"yan, i miss you so much..."
all this was APPER on his status before.
i really don't know why i'm so angry,
not to her, but to him.
i feel like he is cheating me all the while...
4 years before,
27/9/2005 ~ 11/10/2005
you are special to me.
you teach me everythings
but you never teach me how to forget...
because of you,
i fobia to have relationship with others
although i had feeling on other
but i cannot do anything on it...
coz i scare.
maybe like jonathan said,
all this was pass
no use to wait or ask you anymore...
but you really hurt me,
really....

walalala...
semester 2 already finish!!!
today was my first day wearing my green band
go out to the college and work at clinical area.
scare...
but then we all very lucky,
first day posting already had a lot of procedure for us
and of cause
i did one of the procedure,
give IM injection!!!
walau...
from prepare until inject patient,
my hand was very shaky...
but then staff keep on gave confident to me,
so,
my first time was success lah~~~

so,
now i start back my working life
need to get sign for a lot of procedure...
need to do night shiff...
need to write journal...
need to practise procedure in skill lab...
so miss my family.

semester 3 is coming soon
i'm glad that Miss Kath still is my tutor in charge for my sem 3
coz for me
if no Miss Kath and Miss Liew
67 is cannot function...
she said this time she will do the grouping
which mean my group will be seperate soon...
i think is good for my group girl,
coz this is the only way can make all of us
cooperate and help each other
but not just help their gang only...

in semester 2,
i really learn a lot...
i start to understand that why Miss Kath said
study here you will give all your sweet, your tear and your blood...
so far i haven bleed,
but i really sweet a lot, and cry...
i'm not a person who easily to cry,
but here, really make me cry,
and broke down...
now i more understand myself,
i know what i want,
and i know what to do for next.
i learn don't be so negative thinking,
don't be so easy get influence by others
and don't be so stingy~~~~ (haha...)
yah, thanks for all my friend here,
really, thanks.

lah lah lah... pharmacology exam finish loh...
so so so happy,
coz now left 4 more paper to go only. ^_^
today my tutor told us that,
there was 3 conform case for H1N1 in assunta primary school
which is just beside my college.
we are having exam now,
so we are not allow to go out to any place
especially hospital area.
sigh... coz no breakfast for this exam week...
coz i thought wanna went to hospital to buy bread...
so,
any one of you who are reading my blog,
please please please,
take care yourself well.
if you feel that you are having
fewer, coughing, flu or joint pain,
please go and see doctor to get further treatmen.

in recovering process...
but i still miss him,
although he already had make decision...
stupid? i know...

feel like cheating by "him"
(someone who is special for me)
recently he is very down,
what he wrote on his msn personal message there
is make me feel curious...
i don't know what happen on him,
coz he said use four years to love her,
can use back four years time to forget her?
four years before,
already has somebody inside his heart?
am i dreaming?
is that the reason why he make me cry?
really hope that,
you can give me an answer...

angel and me^.^

cool?

walau, finally A&P finish adi... (happy^.^)

today went to Mid Velly again.

but then this time was with angel...

had a nice lunch at little taiwan,

had a nice time at GSC. ?(haha...)

coz today quite stress...

i know that cannot eveytime keep on said that : i'm stress, i'm stress

but really,

sometime really feel that cannot breath,

or feel that cannot take it anymore.

today after exam feel that can rest and relax a bit lah,

but then unfortunately,

i don't know that after exam

our group needed to do presentation on our I&I.

so,

rush lah... what to do?

rush is ok for me...

the thing that make me felt angry was

someone was not gave cooperation to us.

i mean,

we were rushing and try to finish our presentation within 1 hour

but then she just sit at there

maybe she is wish to help us

but i really don't think so loh....

yah,

i feel very touch now.

really..

coz no matter how my life turn,

no matter how stress am i,

i know that,

my mother will always there for me,

support me,

and give confident to me.

i really need to study hard hard

to have a good result for her!!!!

i love you mummy!!!!

last week was a terrible week for me...
i was break down,
feel that my life was no more meaning and full of stress.
my friend know that i was something wrong,
so she keep on asking me questions,
and finally i was "vomit" all my problem out.
in the end of it,
she let me undrstand that,
no matter what problems that i have,
no matter how stress i have,
no matter how bad i feel,
i still have my family
and all my dear friends here.
my family and my friends will always be there to support me,
to share my stress,
to listen my complian,
and to love me.
yah, is true.

finally i feel that i find back myself.
i can be myself almost one year i have been here.
happy, and just feel that,
no need to so sensitive about what will my friend think on me,
what they are talking, why they don't talk to me... something like that.
yah... just be yourself.

today feel happy that,
my friend told me about her problem,
and i glad that,
i was there for her when she need help.
i start to understand that,
sometime no need to stress yourself
to do something that you don't want to do..
sometime is ok that your said "no" to your friend,
coz last time i was just follow what friends said...

yah, when i break down that time,
i cried a lot...
i think my tear can make 1 cup of coffee already.
but then angel said:
never cry for a man.
but after you cry,
you should be a better person to see guys in a clearer way.
coz our tears content lysozyme,
which help you to clean the dirt,
and "microorganisms" which affect you eye sight.
so,
after you cry,
your tear clean your eyes.
so,
blink blink your eye
and see guys more "clear"!!

eveyday rushing for assignment...
everyday doing my revision...
everyday concentrate on my lecture...
yah.. test 3 is coming...
i afriad that, i cannot do my best.
each and every one of us is tired,
some of them doing assiggnment until midnight,
some of them study study and study until sick...
me?
try to do my best.
try to finish my assignment,
try to finish my revision question,
try to pay attention during lecture,
try to be ok when group girls was fighting for assignment,
try to be clam when my friends was not gave me cooperation...
just want clam down and bear with it,
coz all of us is not in a good mood...
but i don't know that,
when i will break down...
i really don't know.
i very scare that,
one day, when i cannot take it anymore,
i don't know what i will do.
yah...
wish will have someone to let me shout it out...

the other days,
i was told him that my secret.
a secret that i was kept it for... don't know how long adi...
maybe it start when i came here study,
maybe when we take result,
maybe when we went holiday with F5 friend,
or maybe when we are classmate...
but he just said sorry to me...
coz his heart was occupied by other...
hah...
finally i brave enough to let him know,
but he just sorry.
i would't blame,
coz at least i try and work hard for it...
but,
it feel pain
and sad
in my heart...

however,
no matter how,
i still continue my life.
i cannot because if this,
stop all my activities...
even though i fail,
life still need to go on,
i still need to sit for my test 3.
no matter how pain is it,
i still need to be strong...
hope that,
i'll not break down...

today choose to be brave, to contact him.
and never think that he will reply me back.
however, he did.
this few message,
can make me feel happy in this one whole day.
yah, really.. but don't know why.
is it i still thinking on him?
coz i choose to forget him...
maybe i still need to some time?
coz i know that,
we will never and ever together.
yah... he treat me as his good friend.
this month is his month,
and i don't know what i need to do for him...
coz this month i only go back one time.
whatever lah, really don't know what my heart thinking...
said that wanted to forget him,
but in the end still tinking on him.
ai yoyo...

ai yoyo... assignment, assignment and assignment.
walau... non-stop one.
yah, five of us at the room here and crazzy around...
diana and flora : i have no body no body but you! (singing)
jocelyn : can i said good bye to assigment?
angel : ai yo, so stress here, go out to buy drink... (walk out)
me? just diam diam doing my work...
translating my assignment from BI to BM...
ai yoyo... really difficult lah...
online translate my assignment to BM,
my slide become don't know what adi...
walau...
oral intake become makan secara lisan.
OMG... really don't know how to continue lah...